Always
by marshallsaredead
Summary: Clare wanted to do something bold and totally unlike her. And asking Eli to have sex with her was totally unlike her. ONE-SHOT R


Clare's parents were out of town for a seminar on making a weak marriage stronger. She had the house all to herself after she insisted to her mother that if she had any problems, she'd call Alli for help. But in the mean time, everything was okay, it was a Friday night, and Clare invited Eli over to kill time. They ordered take-out and rented the _Before Sunrise _and _Before Sunset_ DVDs.

"Ah, nothing beats lo mein and French women," Eli said, resting his feet on Clare's coffee table. "Thanks for inviting me over, Clare."

"I'll tell you what beats that," Clare said, "Ethan Hawke and shrimp fried rice."

"Nonsense," Eli replied. He put down his food on the table in front of him. He turned to Clare and asked, "Do you think Jesse had sex with Celine at the end of _Sunset_?"

Clare shrugged. "I don't think so. _Before Sunset_ was more emotional and nostalgic and _Before Sunrise_ is them being passionate and youthful. So I think that's the only time they actually have sex."

"Before sunrise," Eli said out loud. "They're in a sad situation."

"You'd call it sad?" Clare asked.

"Well, it sucks for Jesse 'cause he's tied down by his son, who he doesn't want to leave for anyone else, not even Celine. And Celine…she gave everything she had to that night with Jesse, so anything with any other guy isn't as satisfying."

"It's a matter of connection, I guess," Clare responded. "You can feel a certain way with someone but when it's not the same with another person, you're just dissatisfied."

"Mhm," Eli agreed. "I say they had sex."

Clare laughed and shook her head. "I strongly disagree."

Eli sat up straighter. "Yeah but look at it this way. Maybe Jesse and Celine want to return to that youthful feeling of just not caring about what's gonna happen tomorrow. You know, they're older now and the only way they'll feel the way they did that one night is by returning to each other and having sex."

"Your logic is just…," Clare began, "I just don't agree."

"You just don't like sex."

Clare flushed in her seat. "I never had it so I wouldn't know."

"You do wear a purity ring," Eli remarked. "Tell me, Clare, do you really believe in abstinence before marriage?"

Clare sighed. She had begun thinking about sex before marriage long before Eli had just asked her. Lately, she stopped caring about the ring on her finger. It stopped meaning something to her, not because of her lack of faith, but because she didn't think sleeping with someone was wrong as long as the person mattered to you.

"Your reluctance to answer says a lot," Eli commented. "I knew St. Clare wasn't so goody-goody after all."

"I just don't think waiting until marriage always works. People end up having sex anyway." Clare toyed with her ring for a few seconds. "The reason I keep the ring on is so that my parents don't think anything."

"So you _do_ want to have sex," Eli smirked.

Clare blushed. "I just think it's slightly impractical to wait so long in this day and time."

"That's a good enough reason for me," Eli replied.

"Have you had sex before?" Clare quickly asked. She was curious about Eli's interpersonal relationships and how far he had actually gone with someone.

"Uh," Eli began, "I haven't. I think sex is overrated."

Clare burst in laughter. She was relieved that Eli hadn't given up his virginity to someone, but at the same time amused at his view on sex. Was he not man enough?

"Are you sure you're a guy?" Clare asked. "I mean, wow."

Eli shrugged. "I'm sure it's a very pleasurable experience but I will never be the one to demand it."

"Do you take offers?" Clare coyly asked. She felt herself being bold through such an inquiry and shocked herself. She knew she was turning pink, but she was not going to let that embarrass her.

Eli smirked. "Are you making any?"

Clare's cheeks grew hot. If she didn't know any better, she might have sex with Eli Goldsworthy that night. Instead of frightening her, the idea thrilled her. Eli was bringing out a completely different side of Clare, and she very well knew she secretly loved it.

"I could be," Clare quietly said. "Do you have to be gone before sunrise?"

Eli's eyebrows rose. "I would be crazy if I didn't stay for breakfast."

"So…," Clare sounded suggestive.

Eli gulped. "Clare," he began, "we're not, uh, in a relationship."

Clare frowned. She was beginning to feel stupid and disappointed. "I know that," she replied.

"You still wanna…," Eli trailed off.

"I wouldn't be totally _against_ it," Clare said as quickly as possible to avoid mortification.

Clare quickly began thinking about what she was suggesting. After years of being preached about how abstinence was the way to go, Clare felt free. She felt different, much to her satisfaction. She was tired of being so conservative. She didn't want to deny wanting Eli at that moment. Something about the way he looked in his t-shirt and faded, tight jeans sent lightning bolts through her body. She wanted to do something bold and totally unlike her.

And asking Eli to have sex with her was totally unlike her.

"Wow," Eli said, his voice sounding husky. "Clare Edwards."

"Eli Goldsworthy."

He moved closer to her on the couch, lying on top of her. He slowly began kissing her, his hands tangled in her curly hair. He agreed to do this because he _was_ attracted to Clare. He wasn't going to miss out on the opportunity to get close to her. He slid in his tongue insider her mouth, forcing a moan out of Clare's mouth. He loved the sound she just made. He pressed his body against her's and moved his hands further down.

Clare was feeling ecstatic. She knew there was always some kind of chemistry between she and Eli, that she wasn't just imagining it. This had finally confirmed his attraction towards her. She was feeling lightheaded and felt Eli melting into her. They didn't even have sex yet.

Eli's lips moved down to Clare's jaw line. His tongue swept her collarbone. He placed kisses on her neck. He nibbled on Clare's ear lobe, sending sensations through her body and making her breathe heavily.

Clare placed her hands under Eli's Joy Division t-shirt and rubbed his chest. Her palms roamed over his nipples, and Eli moaned into Clare's mouth. He bit Clare's bottom lip. She pulled away.

"Now?" she asked.

Eli nodded. "Perfect."

"Let's go to my room."

"Wait, Clare," Eli said, sitting up. He sighed. "We need a condom."

Clare nodded. "Go to my room, I'll get one." She walked to her parents' bedroom and looked through their bedside table. She had to find something or else she would become very frustrated. After finding pictures, flyers, and other junk, she found an open box of Trojan condoms. She looked at it for a second and fully realized what she was going to be doing. It's Eli, she reasoned. It'll be okay.

Walking up to her room, Clare found Eli, looking nervous, standing near the edge of her bed. "Got it," she said, getting close to him. She nervously bit her lip and smiled up at him.

Eli, with soft eyes, looked down at Clare and reached for her hands. He pulled her into a kiss. When it the kiss broke, he pressed his forehead against hers, and said, "This isn't just about sex, Clare."

Clare's heart lit on fire. Not only was she sure Eli was attracted to her but that he cared about her, too. She was sure this moment confirmed what she used to ponder over: she was in love with Eli. But she wasn't going to tell him at that moment. It could wait.

She pushed him onto her bed and straddled his lap. She pulled his t-shirt off of his body. She unbuttoned her blouse before him. She looked into his lusty eyes. She smirked at him. Her fingers wrapped around his neck and dug into his hair. The kiss they shared was deep, passionate. She could feel how hard Eli was.

Clare unzipped his jeans and helped pull them off. She slipped out of her own. Eli's body turned over and went on tops of her. His hand slipped into her underwear and grabbed her supple skin. Clare took her own hand and stuck it in his boxers. Eli began to groan, and his kisses were more urgent. Finally, he had enough, and took his boxers off and Clare's panties, too. He asked her to unhook her bra.

"Wait," Clare whispered.

"Yeah?" Eli softly replied.

"I don't know how…," she began, "I mean, do you know what to do?"

Eli chuckled. "I'll figure it out, Clare." He kissed her cheek.

He used the condom Clare handed him and slowly entered her. She gasped at the slight pain and clutched onto Eli's bare back. Her eyes were shut tight as Eli slid into her. She gasped as he grunted. Clare's back arched forward, and she could not repress her moans. Soon enough, she could feel her body shaking –or what it Eli's body? For one moment, she grabbed Eli's face and looked deep into his eyes. She had to confirm the reality of what was happening. _This is real_, Eli's gaze told her. There were beads of sweat down his forehead and when he smiled at her, Clare thought, I want this forever.

Clare began to breath heavier. Her body felt dense, but at the same time, she felt a lightness come over her. She could feel her breasts flush. This was the big moment, and she knew it. She was trembling under Eli's body, and he grabbed her closer and continued his strokes. He brought his ear closer to Clare's mouth to hear the moans escaping her. He was coming close to a finish, too. The feelings were intense for the both of them.

"Clare."

"Eli."

Eli gasped and then groaned. He was done. His heart was beating out of his chest; his body shook just like Clare's did.

He lay beside her. For a few minutes, neither said anything to each other, but the silence was comfortable. Eli reached for Clare's hand and held it.

"They say most of the time women orgasm when they love the person they're having sex with," Eli said.

"I heard orgasms are more intense for men when they love the person they're having sex with," Clare replied.

"That was _really_ intense. Oh my god."

Clare smiled. She didn't know what exactly Eli's response meant for her, but this did not feel like a mistake at all. She lay on her side and turned to Eli. He did the same, facing her. They smiled at each other.

Light from the window hit Clare's face. She could feel herself glow. She felt pretty.

She said, "I think I'm in love with you."

Eli's eyebrows rose in surprise. He replied, "Think?"

Clare laughed. "Is now really a time for your cockiness?"

Eli chuckled. "I'm not being cocky," he answered, his hand gently running up and down Clare's waist and hip. "It's just, I don't think I'm in love with you. I am. I'm sure of it."

Clare could not hide her joy. She knew she smiled ear-to-ear. She was speechless in front of this beautiful boy in front of her.

"You love me," she repeated.

"I love you," Eli said. He kissed her lips. "Always."

"I love you," Clare said. She yawned. "You, you, you…"

She rested her head on Eli's chest and fell into a slumber. She felt a kind of comfort feeling Eli's chest rise up and down from his breathing. She felt at peace with herself. She did not regret not waiting for this moment with someone she was supposed to marry. She knew, more than anything else she could make sure of, that Eli Goldsworthy was the right person.


End file.
